January 26, 2010
I've never been this deep inside a shadow
I've never been so insecure of what I know
I've gotta figure this out
I need a story to tell
Where's the feeling I long for?
I've gotta figure it out
- Erin McCarley
I don’t like change. That’s just all there is to it. Even when I know it would be good for me, I have a hard time taking that first step. Because, after all, what is scarier than the unknown? And I’m at the perfect time in my life to pretty much up and do whatever I want. I’m not married and not tied down in any way whatsoever (except for that pesky mortgage).
So the question is what do I want to do with myself exactly?
And the answer is a resounding, “Yeah, I don’t know.”
Until I moved away for college, I lived in the same house my entire life. My parents, thankfully, have been happily married for almost 40 years. I've been going to the same church since I was 6 years old, and I still attend when I’m home visiting. So, I come from a rock solid environment and for that I’m thankful. But I worry it has almost made me complacent.
Making the decision to go to The University of Alabama was a hard one. It would’ve been much easier to go to UAH and live at home and basically have the same exact life. It would’ve been easier to go to UNA, where I already had friends and would have fit right in immediately and could’ve even come home during the week if I wanted. But in the end, UA was it for me because, lord help me, I wanted, craved, needed that Advertising degree.
It was the right choice.
Moving back home after college was a given, as I had no job lined up and no choice. It worked out for the best as I started my career in a place that allowed me to do a whole lot more work than they should have considering my lack of experience. I met life long friends and enjoyed being back in my home town again. When I finally realized I had gone as far as I could there, I was determined to make my next move be somewhere away – somewhere that I would truly be on my own. Could I do it? Could I survive?
And so far I have. That was seven years and four months ago. My twenties are gone and I feel relatively happy about the way I spent them. Would I do some things differently? Absolutely. But, I don’t regret much and I have learned a lot about myself. I settled into a career that I never would have imagined I would have. I made some great friends and I bought a house.
And now I don’t know what’s next. Not that you ever really do know what’s next, with life being what happens while we make plans and all, but right now I can feel that proverbial crossroads in front of me.
I need a change. And I do mean a whole, encompassing change from the inside out. I’m ready to go places, see things, meet people and maybe try to find that 23 year old girl that wasn’t afraid to take a leap when she saw an opportunity.
“Life is short / Love is sweet / Ain’t no time like this time, baby.” – Carrie Underwood
I've gotta figure this out
I need a story to tell
Where's the feeling I long for?
I've gotta figure it out
- Erin McCarley
I don’t like change. That’s just all there is to it. Even when I know it would be good for me, I have a hard time taking that first step. Because, after all, what is scarier than the unknown? And I’m at the perfect time in my life to pretty much up and do whatever I want. I’m not married and not tied down in any way whatsoever (except for that pesky mortgage).
So the question is what do I want to do with myself exactly?
And the answer is a resounding, “Yeah, I don’t know.”
Until I moved away for college, I lived in the same house my entire life. My parents, thankfully, have been happily married for almost 40 years. I've been going to the same church since I was 6 years old, and I still attend when I’m home visiting. So, I come from a rock solid environment and for that I’m thankful. But I worry it has almost made me complacent.
Making the decision to go to The University of Alabama was a hard one. It would’ve been much easier to go to UAH and live at home and basically have the same exact life. It would’ve been easier to go to UNA, where I already had friends and would have fit right in immediately and could’ve even come home during the week if I wanted. But in the end, UA was it for me because, lord help me, I wanted, craved, needed that Advertising degree.
It was the right choice.
Moving back home after college was a given, as I had no job lined up and no choice. It worked out for the best as I started my career in a place that allowed me to do a whole lot more work than they should have considering my lack of experience. I met life long friends and enjoyed being back in my home town again. When I finally realized I had gone as far as I could there, I was determined to make my next move be somewhere away – somewhere that I would truly be on my own. Could I do it? Could I survive?
And so far I have. That was seven years and four months ago. My twenties are gone and I feel relatively happy about the way I spent them. Would I do some things differently? Absolutely. But, I don’t regret much and I have learned a lot about myself. I settled into a career that I never would have imagined I would have. I made some great friends and I bought a house.
And now I don’t know what’s next. Not that you ever really do know what’s next, with life being what happens while we make plans and all, but right now I can feel that proverbial crossroads in front of me.
I need a change. And I do mean a whole, encompassing change from the inside out. I’m ready to go places, see things, meet people and maybe try to find that 23 year old girl that wasn’t afraid to take a leap when she saw an opportunity.
“Life is short / Love is sweet / Ain’t no time like this time, baby.” – Carrie Underwood
Posted by Amy at 11:22:45 |
Holli wrote: