December 18, 2007
May your days be merry and bright
And may all your Christmases be white
-- Hilaritas 1993-1995
Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Happy New Year, etc.
Let’s get to it.
Sunday afternoon I went shopping to try and find those last minute Christmas gifts. While I was successful on that trip, I’m sorely lacking in creativity points this year. But, as the tale goes – it is totally the thought that counts, right? Like the amount of effort I expended into thinking about these gifts is probably equal to the amount of effort it takes for an ant to move a bread crumb one city block. I’m just saying. Too bad the results are less than stellar.
Anyway, as always, anytime I venture into public I have a story to tell. The trouble is I don’t always get around to posting them. I’m going to try and be better about this sort of thing because I know y’all love a good Dabbs story. One that makes you say, “Only to you Amy Dabbs. Only to you.”
But first, some commentary.
It’s been literally 80 degrees around here and then last weekend the temperature dropped dramatically. This shouldn’t have been news to anyone. It was harped on all week – COLD WEATHER ON ITS WAY! GET OUT THOSE SWEATERS AT LONG LAST! If you didn’t happen to watch the news, flip by your Local on the 8s (which I heart with a passion), read a newspaper or look online, perhaps you would have heard a coworker mention it in passing. And by mention I mean, you would have noticed a coworker freaking out about it and/or getting excited by the chance of passing snowflake. (Didn’t happen. Never will again in this state. Too much hairspray use in the 80s.That’s my theory anyway.) So point being, on Sunday, it was 40 degrees.
So how is it possible that you wind up at Bed, Bath and Beyond to do your wedding registry on one of the busiest shopping weekends of the year wearing a sweatshirt and SHORTS? Let me just let all of you know right now that there are few things higher on my list of pet peeves than a sweatshirt and SHORTS. It just doesn’t make any sense. I’m sure this sorority girl (no offense….well, maybe a little offense) just wanted to show off her freshly applied Mystic Tan, but seriously? 40 degrees? Ok, so let’s just give her a break and say that she didn’t know the weather change had happened. You’d think somewhere between her front door and sitting herself down onto a cold car seat she would have realized, hmm… maybe pants are a good option today. Or maybe she would have picked up on that when her fiancée was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. Maybe that Mystic Tan seeped in too much or something. And by the way, in case you are wondering – this ain’t no Flashdance and you ain’t Jennifer Beals, so don’t even front with the sweatshirt unless you have on PANTS, a skirt or some other item that at least gets within shouting distance of your knees. Seriously.
Second thing – never, ever is there a reason to be in a Wal-Mart on Sunday afternoon wearing a full on silver sequined Tina Turner-ish tank top. Just a thought.
So as I mentioned the weather got very cold and I bought two outside faucet covers, among various other items. As I was checking out the cashier lady says, “Yeah, I had to buy those today, too.” I assumed she was talking about the faucet covers. I replied, “Yeah, it’s so weird, it’s been so hot and now all of the sudden…” She cut me off and said, “Oh no, I meant THOSE” and she pointed at the box of Tampax.
How is that helpful?
Merry Christmas!
-- Hilaritas 1993-1995
Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Happy New Year, etc.
Let’s get to it.
Sunday afternoon I went shopping to try and find those last minute Christmas gifts. While I was successful on that trip, I’m sorely lacking in creativity points this year. But, as the tale goes – it is totally the thought that counts, right? Like the amount of effort I expended into thinking about these gifts is probably equal to the amount of effort it takes for an ant to move a bread crumb one city block. I’m just saying. Too bad the results are less than stellar.
Anyway, as always, anytime I venture into public I have a story to tell. The trouble is I don’t always get around to posting them. I’m going to try and be better about this sort of thing because I know y’all love a good Dabbs story. One that makes you say, “Only to you Amy Dabbs. Only to you.”
But first, some commentary.
It’s been literally 80 degrees around here and then last weekend the temperature dropped dramatically. This shouldn’t have been news to anyone. It was harped on all week – COLD WEATHER ON ITS WAY! GET OUT THOSE SWEATERS AT LONG LAST! If you didn’t happen to watch the news, flip by your Local on the 8s (which I heart with a passion), read a newspaper or look online, perhaps you would have heard a coworker mention it in passing. And by mention I mean, you would have noticed a coworker freaking out about it and/or getting excited by the chance of passing snowflake. (Didn’t happen. Never will again in this state. Too much hairspray use in the 80s.That’s my theory anyway.) So point being, on Sunday, it was 40 degrees.
So how is it possible that you wind up at Bed, Bath and Beyond to do your wedding registry on one of the busiest shopping weekends of the year wearing a sweatshirt and SHORTS? Let me just let all of you know right now that there are few things higher on my list of pet peeves than a sweatshirt and SHORTS. It just doesn’t make any sense. I’m sure this sorority girl (no offense….well, maybe a little offense) just wanted to show off her freshly applied Mystic Tan, but seriously? 40 degrees? Ok, so let’s just give her a break and say that she didn’t know the weather change had happened. You’d think somewhere between her front door and sitting herself down onto a cold car seat she would have realized, hmm… maybe pants are a good option today. Or maybe she would have picked up on that when her fiancée was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. Maybe that Mystic Tan seeped in too much or something. And by the way, in case you are wondering – this ain’t no Flashdance and you ain’t Jennifer Beals, so don’t even front with the sweatshirt unless you have on PANTS, a skirt or some other item that at least gets within shouting distance of your knees. Seriously.
Second thing – never, ever is there a reason to be in a Wal-Mart on Sunday afternoon wearing a full on silver sequined Tina Turner-ish tank top. Just a thought.
So as I mentioned the weather got very cold and I bought two outside faucet covers, among various other items. As I was checking out the cashier lady says, “Yeah, I had to buy those today, too.” I assumed she was talking about the faucet covers. I replied, “Yeah, it’s so weird, it’s been so hot and now all of the sudden…” She cut me off and said, “Oh no, I meant THOSE” and she pointed at the box of Tampax.
How is that helpful?
Merry Christmas!
Posted by Amy at 16:29:47 |
chrispian wrote:
Merry Christmas Ames. And remember without Chris, There's no Christmas! ;)