February 12, 2007
I want you gone
That’s why I wrote this song,
because I couldn’t tell you
And if it ain’t there, it’s forever gone
No reason to keep holding on
-- Josh Kelley
Dear February,
I’ve been trying to reach you for a few weeks now. Mother Nature informed me you were too busy to talk. She said you were very busy consorting with a groundhog and a rotund, winged baby in diapers wielding a bow and arrow. So unfortunately, that means I have to do this the hard way.
I would tell you that it isn’t you, it’s me, but that would just be a lie. It’s totally you. But don’t get depressed; try to hang onto the memories. Oh we’ve had some good times, February. Like that February cruise to the Bahamas when I was a teenager. And nothing was ever quite as awesome as a February Saturday when I would catch a college baseball game and a basketball game in one day.
But now its time to move on. All you do is bring me down, February. You’re indecisive – one day you’re 66 and the next you’re 29. I need stability in my life. Just ask May, I work better when I know what I’m in for. And I always get sick when I’m around you. I mean, every single year, February. How is that helpful? Remember last year and the stomach flu? Awful. And even worse, all of my friends get sick when they’re around you, too. I’m talking horribly sick, like losing their voices and their will to live sick. If they can’t hang out with you, then I can’t either.
But the last straw was the cop that pulled me over yesterday, February. He must have been bored or confused by your fluctuating temperature. That must have been why he said my tag had expired, when clearly it wasn’t. Imagine how embarrassed I was, on a Sunday afternoon, to be pulled over with the siren and the lights blaring. See, you’re no good February. My first ever pull over by a cop happened on your watch.
It’s over. We’re breaking up. Next year, I’m going to the Bahamas for the entire month. We’ll still have to deal with each other for the next two weeks, but I think we can do it. Oh and Leap Year? What the freak is that all about anyway? You’re just confusing, February.
Sincerely,
Amy
because I couldn’t tell you
And if it ain’t there, it’s forever gone
No reason to keep holding on
-- Josh Kelley
Dear February,
I’ve been trying to reach you for a few weeks now. Mother Nature informed me you were too busy to talk. She said you were very busy consorting with a groundhog and a rotund, winged baby in diapers wielding a bow and arrow. So unfortunately, that means I have to do this the hard way.
I would tell you that it isn’t you, it’s me, but that would just be a lie. It’s totally you. But don’t get depressed; try to hang onto the memories. Oh we’ve had some good times, February. Like that February cruise to the Bahamas when I was a teenager. And nothing was ever quite as awesome as a February Saturday when I would catch a college baseball game and a basketball game in one day.
But now its time to move on. All you do is bring me down, February. You’re indecisive – one day you’re 66 and the next you’re 29. I need stability in my life. Just ask May, I work better when I know what I’m in for. And I always get sick when I’m around you. I mean, every single year, February. How is that helpful? Remember last year and the stomach flu? Awful. And even worse, all of my friends get sick when they’re around you, too. I’m talking horribly sick, like losing their voices and their will to live sick. If they can’t hang out with you, then I can’t either.
But the last straw was the cop that pulled me over yesterday, February. He must have been bored or confused by your fluctuating temperature. That must have been why he said my tag had expired, when clearly it wasn’t. Imagine how embarrassed I was, on a Sunday afternoon, to be pulled over with the siren and the lights blaring. See, you’re no good February. My first ever pull over by a cop happened on your watch.
It’s over. We’re breaking up. Next year, I’m going to the Bahamas for the entire month. We’ll still have to deal with each other for the next two weeks, but I think we can do it. Oh and Leap Year? What the freak is that all about anyway? You’re just confusing, February.
Sincerely,
Amy
Posted by Amy at 16:35:20 |
Holli wrote:
I can't believe you were pulled over, by the way!