April 05, 2006
Black cat, nine lives
Short days, long nights, living on the edge not afraid to die
-- Janet Jackson
I’ve always been fascinated by nomenclature. How are things grouped, arranged, moreover, how are they named? I was at Wal-Mart the other day and noticed an interesting product called “Wet and Black” in a spray bottle. If not for the picture of the tire, I would have been more than a little confused. I was understandably concerned. Seriously, what board room full of middle aged white men came up with that name for a product? How about Spray and Shine? Gloss and Go, anything at all would have been better than Wet and Black. This is a lawsuit waiting to happen.
What if Tide was “Stank and Stain Remover”? What if Oil of Olay was “Crow’s Feet Reducer”? What if Coke was “Liquid Sugar and Caffeine”? Tylenol – “People-piss-me-off-and-cause-me-to- hurt-between-my-temples remedy”. Neutrogena Sunless Tanning “My- ass-is-too-chalky-to-wear-those-shorts cover up.” The possibilities are endless.
Now there is an appropriate time and place for simply calling something exactly what it is – a menu for example – chicken Alfredo, steak and baked potato. I have always been fascinated by restaurants that persist in generating cute names for their entrees. Like calling barbecue chicken “Rocky Mountain Chicken.” Once again, I blame the middle aged white men sitting in a conference room for that one:
“Yes Jim, we will be introducing a new chicken dish to the menu this summer.”
“Really Bill? Excellent opportunity for us to completely rename everything on the menu!”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea, sir?”
“Of course it is, Bill! Tell me about this chicken.”
“Well sir, it is just barbecue chicken with some Monterey jack cheese.”
“Brilliant! We’ll call it Rocky Mountain Chicken!”
“Really, sir? Rocky Mountain Chicken? Doesn’t that sort of make you think of Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever or something?”
“Nonsense Bill! We’re a steakhouse – we’ve got stuffed buffalo hanging on the wall, let’s go with a whole Rocky Mountain menu theme to match our décor! How about Mile High Onion Rings?! No wait, Mile High Chocolate Pie! We’re on to something here…”
It’s the name game…
-dabbs
-- Janet Jackson
I’ve always been fascinated by nomenclature. How are things grouped, arranged, moreover, how are they named? I was at Wal-Mart the other day and noticed an interesting product called “Wet and Black” in a spray bottle. If not for the picture of the tire, I would have been more than a little confused. I was understandably concerned. Seriously, what board room full of middle aged white men came up with that name for a product? How about Spray and Shine? Gloss and Go, anything at all would have been better than Wet and Black. This is a lawsuit waiting to happen.
What if Tide was “Stank and Stain Remover”? What if Oil of Olay was “Crow’s Feet Reducer”? What if Coke was “Liquid Sugar and Caffeine”? Tylenol – “People-piss-me-off-and-cause-me-to- hurt-between-my-temples remedy”. Neutrogena Sunless Tanning “My- ass-is-too-chalky-to-wear-those-shorts cover up.” The possibilities are endless.
Now there is an appropriate time and place for simply calling something exactly what it is – a menu for example – chicken Alfredo, steak and baked potato. I have always been fascinated by restaurants that persist in generating cute names for their entrees. Like calling barbecue chicken “Rocky Mountain Chicken.” Once again, I blame the middle aged white men sitting in a conference room for that one:
“Yes Jim, we will be introducing a new chicken dish to the menu this summer.”
“Really Bill? Excellent opportunity for us to completely rename everything on the menu!”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea, sir?”
“Of course it is, Bill! Tell me about this chicken.”
“Well sir, it is just barbecue chicken with some Monterey jack cheese.”
“Brilliant! We’ll call it Rocky Mountain Chicken!”
“Really, sir? Rocky Mountain Chicken? Doesn’t that sort of make you think of Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever or something?”
“Nonsense Bill! We’re a steakhouse – we’ve got stuffed buffalo hanging on the wall, let’s go with a whole Rocky Mountain menu theme to match our décor! How about Mile High Onion Rings?! No wait, Mile High Chocolate Pie! We’re on to something here…”
It’s the name game…
-dabbs
Posted by Amy at 14:07:17 |
RP wrote: