July 15, 2003
Love in an elevator
Ok, so you had to know that I’d eventually get back to the elevator topic, right?
Of course the elevators have been screwed up for the past few weeks. One in particular just seems to refuse to shut its doors, even after you select your designated floor. Let me stop here and say what I told my good friend Holli a while back. I want to get on an intercom somewhere and scream, “What the hell is wrong with you? No, not some of you, but all of y’all!” The good news is that I found this incident amusing instead of infuriating -- y’all do know my temper.
So, I was walking to the elevator with a friend and we stepped on one that was already crowded. More folks got on after us. A crazy old man who apparently suffers from “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it any more” syndrome was by the buttons. He had punched the buttons for all the floors that our rag tag bunch of passengers yelled out to him. Now, let’s be off. But no, this elevator decides to act a fool and refuse to shut it’s doors. The natives grew restless. The old man promptly balled his fist up and punched the door close button. For this injustice the elevator shrieked beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!!! And still refused to shut the door. Now I’m standing in the back and I’m thisclose to jumping off said elevator. Now the old dude is really mad, he mutters something and takes his fist and repeatedly punches the buttons as if he was contending for the heavyweight championship of the world.
Way to go, old man – now you’ve made it mad! Finally the doors groan shut and we inch upward. Meanwhile, I begin running my big mouth about how this is the elevator that was messed up last week. Pop! The floor makes a noise beneath us. I’m still talking. ( I swear, I couldn’t stop. I was like Ross in “The one where Ross can’t flirt”. You know that one – when he orders all that pizza to try to flirt with the delivery girl and he ends up talking about how they add smell to natural gas.)
Anyway, now everyone is murmuring about what would happen if we got stuck. I declared to aforementioned friend that she would have to knock me completely unconscious if we did get stuck. Everyone laughs. POP! Goes the elevator! Now we’re for real nervous. The lady in front of me turns around and says, “Mmm hmm. Ms. Dabbs, I see, we will be blaming you if we get stuck!” With each stop at each floor we inch towards 9 and freedom. After the old man bails, I can’t resist and I say, “What was with that guy punching the buttons?? I think he made the elevator mad.” Everyone laughs and agrees and we all breathe a sigh of relief when the doors do open at 9 and we pile off. Crisis averted.
Stayed tuned for scenes from tomorrow's Office Space Elevator Chronicles ------
Ames
Of course the elevators have been screwed up for the past few weeks. One in particular just seems to refuse to shut its doors, even after you select your designated floor. Let me stop here and say what I told my good friend Holli a while back. I want to get on an intercom somewhere and scream, “What the hell is wrong with you? No, not some of you, but all of y’all!” The good news is that I found this incident amusing instead of infuriating -- y’all do know my temper.
So, I was walking to the elevator with a friend and we stepped on one that was already crowded. More folks got on after us. A crazy old man who apparently suffers from “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it any more” syndrome was by the buttons. He had punched the buttons for all the floors that our rag tag bunch of passengers yelled out to him. Now, let’s be off. But no, this elevator decides to act a fool and refuse to shut it’s doors. The natives grew restless. The old man promptly balled his fist up and punched the door close button. For this injustice the elevator shrieked beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!!! And still refused to shut the door. Now I’m standing in the back and I’m thisclose to jumping off said elevator. Now the old dude is really mad, he mutters something and takes his fist and repeatedly punches the buttons as if he was contending for the heavyweight championship of the world.
Way to go, old man – now you’ve made it mad! Finally the doors groan shut and we inch upward. Meanwhile, I begin running my big mouth about how this is the elevator that was messed up last week. Pop! The floor makes a noise beneath us. I’m still talking. ( I swear, I couldn’t stop. I was like Ross in “The one where Ross can’t flirt”. You know that one – when he orders all that pizza to try to flirt with the delivery girl and he ends up talking about how they add smell to natural gas.)
Anyway, now everyone is murmuring about what would happen if we got stuck. I declared to aforementioned friend that she would have to knock me completely unconscious if we did get stuck. Everyone laughs. POP! Goes the elevator! Now we’re for real nervous. The lady in front of me turns around and says, “Mmm hmm. Ms. Dabbs, I see, we will be blaming you if we get stuck!” With each stop at each floor we inch towards 9 and freedom. After the old man bails, I can’t resist and I say, “What was with that guy punching the buttons?? I think he made the elevator mad.” Everyone laughs and agrees and we all breathe a sigh of relief when the doors do open at 9 and we pile off. Crisis averted.
Stayed tuned for scenes from tomorrow's Office Space Elevator Chronicles ------
Ames
Posted by Amy at 10:41:46 |
Holli wrote: