Who gives up just like that
Oh no, no
-- Blondie

I can’t take it anymore. I’ve got too much stuff. TOO MUCH STUFF. Too much stuff in my house, in my car, in my office and really too much in my brain. I’m sick of it.

I’ve always been a pack rat. Oh yeah, totally have. I have the ticket stubs from almost every movie and concert I’ve been to since I was sixteen. I had this grand idea of one day fashioning the stubs into some really cool art piece. But guess what? They are all in a bag in a box on top of my dresser. Nothing cool about that.

I go over to you people’s (you friend types that read this) pristine houses and see pictures online of your new houses and I think to myself, wow, I bet they don’t even have a junk drawer! Who needs a junk drawer besides me? It’s ridiculous. I see you people have a proper place for every single little thing and I doubt that any of you have bottles of shampoo and conditioner under your sink. You know, those ones you buy on sale, or only buy because they smell good? The ones that end up leaving your hair looking like a wet dog?

Now let me explain, I am not a hoarder or whatever. Not even close. I just tend to have things in closets that I should get rid of – things like the box my iron came in and an old UA flag that is cracked. But the biggest issue I have is paper. Who knew that grown ups could acquire so freaking much paper. If I had a dime for every piece of junk mail I get, I’d be sitting on a yacht in the Gulf right about now.

So what am I going to do about it? Well, I started by buying a shredder and I just went totally nuts on a bunch of stuff in my other bedroom. It’s a starting point. I’m going to go through my files and get rid of all those top halves of bills from 2004 where I wrote the check number and the date that I paid the bill. I’m going to get rid of my old apartment lease and just get rid of stuff in general. If it isn’t nailed down, or if it doesn’t have extreme sentimental value, it’s a goner.

Besides, it’s not like I have television to watch anymore at night, right? (I hate the strike, all making me productive and stuff. Geez.)