I know what I want so don’t hold me down
- Colbie Caillat


You know how no matter how old you are, when you express displeasure about anything in your life, at some point some older person is going to say to you, “You’re just at that age.” Meaning, you’re just at that awkward, pre-pubescent age, or you’re just at that age where your baby fat is showing, or you’re just at that age when boys are mean to you because they like you. The list goes on and on and on.

What age is 31, exactly?

For most people, 31 is the age of responsibility – jobs, marriages, mortgages, cars and babies. You’re out of those awkward post college years and in most cases you should find yourself relatively settled into your career and your life. You’re in a routine and you’re stable.

Or you could be me. I’m at “that age.” In my case, I’m also at the age of responsibility when it comes to a career, a mortgage, bills, etc. But I don’t fit the mold in any of the other ways whatsoever. I’m not married and I don’t have kids. And say what you will, but many other 30 something’s around me can verify, that for that very reason, “this age” we’re in right now? It is hard. Super hard.

I have so many friends that are married with kids. I love all of them and I love all of their kids. They look at me and go, “Oh! To be single and do whatever you want whenever you want!” I look at them and go, “Oh! To have someone there when you come home at the end of the day.” It’s a classic case of wanting what you don’t have or the grass always being greener.

The only thing I can think to do is live my life to the very, very fullest and to try my best to enjoy each day. Whatever happens in life will just happen. I’m not tied down, so let’s see how far this kite can go.

Over numbers, encumbered numbered words
More words than I had ever heard and I feel so alive
- Jason Mraz


I’m at a crossroads with the blog here. I have so very many things to say, but in a weird way, I’m afraid to open that box. Once it is out on the web for the world to see, there really isn’t any taking it back. But I figure, what’s a blog without honesty, right?

So I’m going post a series of entries that may be a little raw and honest. Maybe it’ll be cathartic in a way, or maybe it will just come across as selfish and whiny. Either way, get ready, here I come.

The heat is ooonnnn
- Glenn Frey

Wait, did I really just use Glen Frey lyrics? Yikes. Old much? Hmm... don't answer that.

So I was given the opportunity by a friend from high school and college to be featured in a blog for her company magazines.com. She emailed me a series of questions about my magazine reading habits, my favorite magazine, etc. It's a cool concept and she is featuring a different person each month. As my luck would have it, the first profile featured a dude that reads the New Yorker. Yeah...so... what did I pick as my favorite?

Well, you may have to wait and see!

In the meantime, here's a burning question - for the article, she told me to feel free to put in links to ther sites, so should I link to this site? Do we want random people reading the amydabbsness or no? I can't make up my mind, so it is up to you dear reader(s).

- dabbs

I've never been so insecure of what I know
I've gotta figure this out
I need a story to tell
Where's the feeling I long for?
I've gotta figure it out
- Erin McCarley

I don’t like change. That’s just all there is to it. Even when I know it would be good for me, I have a hard time taking that first step. Because, after all, what is scarier than the unknown? And I’m at the perfect time in my life to pretty much up and do whatever I want. I’m not married and not tied down in any way whatsoever (except for that pesky mortgage).

So the question is what do I want to do with myself exactly?

And the answer is a resounding, “Yeah, I don’t know.”

Until I moved away for college, I lived in the same house my entire life. My parents, thankfully, have been happily married for almost 40 years. I've been going to the same church since I was 6 years old, and I still attend when I’m home visiting. So, I come from a rock solid environment and for that I’m thankful. But I worry it has almost made me complacent.

Making the decision to go to The University of Alabama was a hard one. It would’ve been much easier to go to UAH and live at home and basically have the same exact life. It would’ve been easier to go to UNA, where I already had friends and would have fit right in immediately and could’ve even come home during the week if I wanted. But in the end, UA was it for me because, lord help me, I wanted, craved, needed that Advertising degree.

It was the right choice.

Moving back home after college was a given, as I had no job lined up and no choice. It worked out for the best as I started my career in a place that allowed me to do a whole lot more work than they should have considering my lack of experience. I met life long friends and enjoyed being back in my home town again. When I finally realized I had gone as far as I could there, I was determined to make my next move be somewhere away – somewhere that I would truly be on my own. Could I do it? Could I survive?

And so far I have. That was seven years and four months ago. My twenties are gone and I feel relatively happy about the way I spent them. Would I do some things differently? Absolutely. But, I don’t regret much and I have learned a lot about myself. I settled into a career that I never would have imagined I would have. I made some great friends and I bought a house.

And now I don’t know what’s next. Not that you ever really do know what’s next, with life being what happens while we make plans and all, but right now I can feel that proverbial crossroads in front of me.

I need a change. And I do mean a whole, encompassing change from the inside out. I’m ready to go places, see things, meet people and maybe try to find that 23 year old girl that wasn’t afraid to take a leap when she saw an opportunity.

“Life is short / Love is sweet / Ain’t no time like this time, baby.” – Carrie Underwood

- Some unknown band in Austin, TX

So I went to Austin this weekend with Holli. A few years ago we started what was supposed to be an annual girls’ trip on MLK weekend. This year, for various reasons, it was just the two of us that headed out to the Lonestar state. We were visiting our friend Kelly and had the pleasure of meeting her boyfriend Dauphin on this trip. He was gracious enough to let two total strangers crash at his place for the weekend. What a trooper. And Kelly, as always, was awesome to hang with. We couldn't have asked for a better hostess.

I really do love to travel. There’s nothing like it for a lot of reasons. The first one being, hello, you’re not at work. And for me, something I rediscovered this weekend, is that you’re free from being yourself for a few days. Vacation is a great chance to do things, go places and let loose in ways that I never do in real life. It occurred to me several times in the few short days I was away how much I just simply felt better. How much happier I was, how much more laid back I was and how eager I was to see things and go places and try new things. (Hello, beer? Yeah, actually had some in Austin, which is a tremendous surprise for those that know me well). I’m sure most people feel this way on vacation, but the part that stuck in my mind is how to carry over this sort of persona, or state of mind into my real life back home. Is it possible?

Because here in the real world, I’ve become complacent, boring, timid and tired, really. And that, friends, is the main reason I quit writing here. Because really, what did I have to write about that was interesting anymore? Was it ever interesting to begin with? (Wait, maybe don’t answer that… mama’s feeling sensitive today). The truth is, I was depressed. And not like, oh, I’m sad at the holidays type depressed. But full on, crisis mode, depressed. But no worries, I did deal with it. It just so happens that I didn’t want to deal with it in a very public way, like say, on the internet for all to see. But now that I think about it, why not? People struggle with depression, anxiety and a million other things every day, so why be ashamed?

Now that I seem to be mostly on the other side of that, it’s time to try to find me again. Fun Amy lost her way. Funny Amy turned into cynical, sarcastic Amy. Nice Amy turned into an angry, unhappy Amy. Justin Timberlake may have brought sexy back, but me? In 2010, I’m bringing old school Amy back. And if you want to follow along for the ride, I’d love it. Much more to come, including a closer look at the coolness that was Austin. In the meantime, peace out.

dabbs

Wake them up and make them mad
To let them know that I’m ok
- Garth Brooks

So, yeah, I got on Facebook. Yea! I am really enjoying it, just like all of you said I would. It’s really interesting to see what people are up to now. Only thing is, I have a couple of hanging friend requests out there and it makes me wonder if they don’t want to be my friend anymore, or if they don’t remember me or if they just quit using Facebook. Of course it doesn’t help that one of these requests is to GRACE. Who, by the way, is one of my best friends. Hello? Did we revert back to 10th grade – are you mad at me again? Ha ha!

Anyway, Facebook has also highlighted how uncool I really am, which is ok because I already knew that. I need to get busy with a social life and take some pictures and post exciting status updates and all. But you’ll probably just continue seeing things like, “Amy Dabbs is going to sleep until noon on Saturday.” You know being the zebra with the unchanging stripes and all.

I hope everyone has a great weekend!
-ames

I did what people told me
Did what my mother said
And let my father mold me
But that was long ago
Now I’m in control
- Janet Jackson

Ok, people. I come to you with a burning question. (SIGH). Has the time finally come for Amy Dabbs to get a Facebook and/or MySpace account? Don’t you all get enough Dabbsness with this site? Or do you want to “friend me” and “facebook me” to your hearts content?

I’ve resisted for SO LONG that it is going to be hard for me to give in at this point on principle. All I seem to hear lately is Facebook, Facebook, Facebook. And I’m getting some flack for not being on there. What if I get an account and I have zero friends on there? I mean, isn’t the point to collect friends there, sort of like how some people collect baseball cards or whatever? How embarrassing will it be when (notice I didn’t say if) I have, like, two friends? And don’t get me wrong, I’ll be proud of my two friends, but won’t everyone else on Facebook, (i.e. the ENTIRE WORLD) laugh at me and say how pitiful my friend count is?

Yeah, this is what worries me. Along with a deep seated fear that sometime in my future I will interview for a job and the person interviewing me will be all, “Oh YOU’RE AMY DABBS. I read all about you on Facebook!!” Well, I guess they could say they read all about me right here, though, too. (But here there an no pictures, etc.).

So, I can’t make this decision, dear readers. I need you to do it for me. I’m leaving it in your hands. Based on your comments below, I will continue abstaining from all this social media drama or I’ll finally succumb to the peer pressure.

Comment away…

Hey! I tried to comment on my own site and was spammed blocked! LOL! Anyway, I wanted to answer Chris and figured some of you might be interested in my reply. (Oh and if anyone has a clue what bad word I put below to kick up the Spam filter, let me know).

No, they said the floaters were just a result of being nearsighted. I have always had a few small ones. Unfortunately, even though Lasik changed my life and I don't have to wear glasses or contacts (well, they did write me a script for a small prescription if I want glasses for night) it doesn't fix the fact that my eyes are shaped oblong. So basically when you're nearsighted, there's more pressure in your eye due to its shape and more chance of that vitreous layer pulling away and causing floaters. I do need my Lasik touched up, though, maybe one of these days when I save up some money, ha!

And to anyone that is curious - I do recommend Lasik - IF you have a surgeon that has done it for many years - do not go to some local yokel eye doc in the box and expect good results.

Happy Birthday America and my pal Chris! Hope you have a great birthday!

- Amy

Check it, wreck it, let’s begin
- Tag Team

Ok, so I’ve been tagged. Thanks Chris! =) Apparently I’m supposed to write seven things about myself that you may or may not know. Let’s see, where to begin…

1) I’m allergic to sand. Seriously. I know -- it’s sad isn’t it? I couldn’t play in the sandbox as a kid or I would break out something ridiculous. I’m not much of a beach person anyway (see previous sun burn post), but the sand issue is the primary reason for that. It’s not as bad as it used to be, but still. Allergic to sand? Pretty depressing, huh?

2) Along those same lines, I hate, hate, HATE to get water in my eyes. During daddy/daughter swimming lessons I always dreaded going underwater. One time I convinced them to let me hold onto the ladder instead of holding hands in the circle to go under. When they came back up I was in the locker room, talking about, yeah, let’s go home dad I don't care if I can't swim. I was four. Nothing’s changed. I love to swim, but I have to keep a towel and goggles very near by.

3) I took dance for ten years. Ugh. Can’t believe I just admitted that on the public interweb or whatever we’re calling it these days. I started out in the combo class – ballet and tap at age 5. I did a few years of that, then it was jazz until I was a freshman in high school. I was awful. No seriously –terribly, terribly awful. I tried my best, but some of us just ain’t born with taps or jazz shoes on.

4) I’m completely obsessed with music. I mean, I’m just completely fanatical about most kinds of music. I quote lyrics in everyday conversation; post them on this site and pretty much listen to music all the time. I have to make myself not buy every single thing that interests me. That in and of itself takes a great amount of self control. I harbor a secret dream of being involved in the music business somehow – whether it be a concert promoter or something similar. But what would be better than being a back up singer? You keep your anonymity, but get to be part of concerts every night? Awesome. Sigh, a girl can dream, can’t she?

5) I would love to just up and move to somewhere like Chicago or Dallas or wherever. But I know I would miss my family and friends way too much. Still, it would be cool for a change of pace. I think it would be fun to do that for a year. I would never make it, though. I’m too much of a homebody. Always have been, always will be. I guess I should just travel more.

6) I have won three Addys. I’m very proud of that fact. Two were for television commercials and one was for a billboard. I’m still pissed they wouldn’t pay to let me actually have a duplicate of the awards. Oh well, I’m comforted in knowing that at some point in time, my creative genius and ability was actually recognized.

7) I’m a huge introvert. It’s true. Those of you that know me are probably rolling your eyes right now, but think back to before you got to know me. Remember? I’m super shy. I don’t do well at parties because the thought of talking to strangers freaks me out. I just tend to clam up. Put me in a room with people I know and am comfortable around and I’ll talk until someone shuts me up. I know, I’m an adult and should just get over it, but the Myers-Briggs test says that is just how I am. (For those of you into that sort of thing, I’m an INFJ. Strong on the I, N and F and cloudy on the J. I’m definitely a P in my personal life, a J at work). “Too shy, shy, hush, hush, eye to eye.” (See, I told you I was all about the music!)

So, here’s the deal, I have to tag some other folks, here goes:

Justin – Come on now, you know you want to!
Scott – Never seen you turn down any type of game before
Liesa – Ok, so you’re having a baby, but you can work on this while you’re gone for the next, oh 37 weeks.
Holli – Dude, its fun! I promise!


Ok, so I can only think of four folks to tag. Ones that might actually do it and that blog. The rest of my pals reading this – you all should totally be blogging! Whatcha waitin’ for?

The rules:
Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to then report this on their own blog with their 7 things as well as these rules. They then need to tag 7 others and list their names on their blog. They are also asked to leave a comment for each of the tagged, letting them know they have been tagged and to read the blog.