And I'll prove to you its flat
You can keep your feet on the ground
But I'll be walking on air
You're pretty good at waiting
While I go running around
That's just the way it is
You know I, I got a hole in my pocket
-- Sheryl Crow

I know, I know, no updates forthcoming, sorry kids. Anyway, same old reason - crazy busy. A couple of quick, random things:

1) What is the world coming to when two of the top news links on cnn.com are about Ryan Seacrest and Terri Hatcher? Seriously. (And for the record, straight up I’m telling you Paula would win in that bitch slapping contest).
2) I got my teeth cleaned yesterday and was very excited to hear the entire Keith Urban Golden Road CD being played in the office. (Hey, it's the small things in life).
3) Saw a freaking awesome shirt yesterday - it was green and simply said, "Magically Delicious" with a four leaf clover.
4) There was a nun at the dentist's office. What? I'm a total Baptist, dude. I don't exactly get to see Priests and Nuns very often. She was very friendly. I'm sure it's totally inappropriate that I thought of the Sister Act movies, isn't it?
5) I just answered my work phone, "Hi, this is me." Yep, sure did, "Hi this is me." What is wrong with me? Fortunately for me, it was my dad.

So that's all I got, my friends. Comment away.

--dabbs

I won't wake up 'til Friday night
The moment the weekend begins
I'm packing up my ride
And I'm leaving headed straight toward your door
When I get there, you better be ready--

-- Marc Broussard

Y'all - I am up out for the weekend! I am so excited to get down to T-town and see my Committee and just have a good time. I have been in need of a mini-vacation so hopefully this will do the trick. Y'all have a good one!

-dabbs

Fields are ripe
It’s the springtime of my life
Seasons change with the scenery
Weaving time in a tapestry
Won’t you stop and remember me?
-- The Bangles

I’ve always been told that it is very important to have a good handshake. When I was young, this was puzzling to me – what impact could two palms meeting, thumbs curling in a pumping up and down motion have to do with anything? Of course as an adult I know it is vital. Give a firm handshake and look the person you are meeting square in the eye and act freaking interested. I don’t care if you’d rather watch paint dry than shake my hand, just act like you give a rip. And act like you’ve got some home training.

A bad shake can ruin a first impression, along with no eye contact and no smile; the combo of all three renders you forgettable to me. These are all basics. I know all of y’all reading this rant feel me, right? It’s not that difficult. You don’t have to give a person a finger fracture to have a good shake. So why don’t people care? One time in my life when I get the bad shake I’m going to look the person square in the eye (if they look back, that is) and say, “I’m sorry, just what the hell was that? That was WEAK dude, weak. You better get a squishy toy and practice that shake for the next time, ok?” I’m serious. I’ll do it one of these days – you know I will.

dabbs

HAPPY EASTER, y'all!

dabbs

'Cause I am barely breathing and I can't find the air
-- Duncan Sheik

I've had a crappy week. A migraine, too many meetings, too many things broken, too many things not fixed, dull headaches, general crabbiness, tore the top off a mole and now am wearing a gigantic bandage on my wrist (remember Easter a few years ago? dressing room door cut - infection, etc.), long hours, short temper, creative brainstorms with no outlet, 3 near complete and total car accidents (none my fault), bad news, sad news, blues without the rhythm, rock without the roll, pressure, curiousity, boredom, cash money bling wish frustration. Pretty much a pleothra of complaints. Anyway, sorry so fussy. I'll be back in better form soon.

-- dabbs

Short days, long nights, living on the edge not afraid to die
-- Janet Jackson

I’ve always been fascinated by nomenclature. How are things grouped, arranged, moreover, how are they named? I was at Wal-Mart the other day and noticed an interesting product called “Wet and Black” in a spray bottle. If not for the picture of the tire, I would have been more than a little confused. I was understandably concerned. Seriously, what board room full of middle aged white men came up with that name for a product? How about Spray and Shine? Gloss and Go, anything at all would have been better than Wet and Black. This is a lawsuit waiting to happen.

What if Tide was “Stank and Stain Remover”? What if Oil of Olay was “Crow’s Feet Reducer”? What if Coke was “Liquid Sugar and Caffeine”? Tylenol – “People-piss-me-off-and-cause-me-to- hurt-between-my-temples remedy”. Neutrogena Sunless Tanning “My- ass-is-too-chalky-to-wear-those-shorts cover up.” The possibilities are endless.

Now there is an appropriate time and place for simply calling something exactly what it is – a menu for example – chicken Alfredo, steak and baked potato. I have always been fascinated by restaurants that persist in generating cute names for their entrees. Like calling barbecue chicken “Rocky Mountain Chicken.” Once again, I blame the middle aged white men sitting in a conference room for that one:

“Yes Jim, we will be introducing a new chicken dish to the menu this summer.”
“Really Bill? Excellent opportunity for us to completely rename everything on the menu!”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea, sir?”
“Of course it is, Bill! Tell me about this chicken.”
“Well sir, it is just barbecue chicken with some Monterey jack cheese.”
“Brilliant! We’ll call it Rocky Mountain Chicken!”
“Really, sir? Rocky Mountain Chicken? Doesn’t that sort of make you think of Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever or something?”
“Nonsense Bill! We’re a steakhouse – we’ve got stuffed buffalo hanging on the wall, let’s go with a whole Rocky Mountain menu theme to match our décor! How about Mile High Onion Rings?! No wait, Mile High Chocolate Pie! We’re on to something here…”

It’s the name game…
-dabbs